Peace, okay?

Friday, 15 August 2014

Hi everyone. I went through a whirlpool of emotions today and I cannot say I'm feeling my best right now but firstly, I want to thank all my friends and followers who stood up for me and defended me on that Instagram post I posted earlier. I eventually stopped reading the comments because I was feeling overwhelmed and the comments were affecting me. I cannot control people's opinions neither can I stop them from commenting but at least there's one factor I can control, which is to ignore and stop reading.

My friends were very sweet to check on me, some acquaintances offered support and Xiuhui even told me that if I ever consider retaking my wedding photos, she will contribute a little to the cost as my wedding gift. I was so touched I just kept tearing. Actually all I want to do is just curl up in bed and cry at the unfairness of it all.

My intention for sharing that blogpost was not to cause distress or harm to T (the lady in the photo), her husband or anyone. Which is why when her husband, X, emailed me and requested me to take down that blogpost, I did because I felt his sincerity in the email and it was affecting them as badly as it was for me.

Some points I want to clarify:

1. It is not a beauty contest and I don't care if she is prettier than me or vice versa. Neither do I care about whose photos look nicer because that is not the point.

2. If you post anything (photos, quotes, whatever) on the internet, private accounts or not, there is no guarantee that the photos/quotes will not be leaked out. As mentioned previously, nothing is ever safe or "private" on the www. Let me repeat: I did not do anything illegal like hacking into her account to get the screenshots. T had 500 over followers on her Instagram account before today and she has since realised not everyone on her followers list is a trusted friend and by the way, she also accepted requests from strangers.

3. I have a blog hence I am a blogger. I have followers hence I have influence. Therefore I should be gracious, considerate, kind, -insert all nice adjectives here- so I shouldn't post their names/faces/dogs/sofa/bicycle because I should be mindful of what I say/post and I should not tarnish another person's reputation like that. I also should not stand up for myself if I realised my pre-wed photos might be replicated. You guys obviously make sense.

I have a blog hence I am a blogger. I have followers hence I have influence. That also makes me a bully because T has no blog, is not a blogger, has lesser followers than I do hence she has lesser influence too. But you guys forgot something - I am also human and I am also entitled to my opinions just like all you keyboard warriors with private Instagram accounts. Why is it always like that - just because I have influence then I have to be the bigger person? Why are you guys bullying me, and forcing me to behave in the way you deem is right? Are you guys condoning (maybe) copying?

Less than 2 hours after I removed the blogpost, X emailed me and requested that I take down the Instagram post as well because in his words, "I have alot my wife's friend come asking about what happen."

This is what I call 得寸进尺 (climbing over my head). You proudly proclaimed in your email to me that your ideas were originally yours/from others and both T and you have never seen any of my pre-wed pictures at all prior to your pre-wed photo shoot (despite her being my fiancé and my Dayre reader/Instagram follower) so tell your friends everything you told me. Why are you dictating me to do things to please the both of you and make your problem my problem when I am equally, if not more, upset than your wife?

I will remove the post but on my own accord.

4. I made it very clear in the blogpost - I did not say the confetti or balloon ideas were originally mine. I drew inspiration from images I saw on Google. Please note there is a difference between drawing inspiration and outright copying. I also did not mention that T cannot wear the same gowns or use the same backgrounds/locations since she obviously paid for the package. This is the frustrating part because the commenters just bark about the above with no substance or sense in their comments - you have no idea what you are defending for.

Hundreds of couples sign packages with said bridal studio every year and they also chose from the same range of gowns, used the same few photographers/makeup artists/hairstylists/locations/backgrounds. My point is - why is it that my photos, their photos and the in-house models' photos can look so different yet T and mine have such an unbelievable similar resemblance? Same ideas, same "feel" at the same locations. And it is not even for just one set of photos.

I have said everything I want (I think) and I just want to move on from this incident. I removed the blogpost because I gave T and X the benefit of the doubt even though there are still some points that do not tally. Intentionally similar or unintentionally, I do not want to pursue it anymore because it is consuming me - I cannot sleep well, I have no appetite and I don't want my days to be 1) revolving around this incident 2) spent defending myself 3) fighting off negative comments.

Weddings are happy affairs and I don't wish to make things uglier and more unhappy than it already is. So, I am taking advice from the haters and be the bigger person here. I wish you both newly weds, T and X, a happy and blissful marriage filled with lots of joy and laughters. Xx
That's all.

No comments:

Post a Comment